I’ve been thinking about the role of drama in relationships. Drama can shine a light on all the patterns that bind and constrict us that want release: fears, resentments, power struggles, childhood traumas. In this sense, drama can be our teacher.

But it can also take a heavy toll, using pain and discomfort to artificially enhance sensation between two people, creating an emotional intensity that can be mistaken for intimacy. Remember all those times you had a fight with your beloved and afterward made up with hot sex?

By enhancing sensation and creating intensity, drama can be used as an artificial high to fuel the desire to close the gap of intimacy between two people – a gap that they colluded to create in the first place.

I’m intimately familiar with drama. My past relationships are full of it. Now I’m exploring other ways to enhance passion, desire and intimacy that don’t depend on the addictive highs and lows of sensation-seeking drama.

My question to you: what are some ways you would enhance desire with your beloved without resorting to the sensationalism of drama?

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